my own understanding of love


i do not own this photo

I’ve figured love out, I understand the concept. The love that says I want to wake up today because YOU are there.

It gets to a wonderful encompassing effect where you pick something for yourself but wonder how he’d feel if he saw it, not because he makes all your decisions but because you care about what he values. Because he is your world and you feel that you are his… to feel that someone else in the world loves you every bit as much as you love them, that he would die for you, would give up anything to be with you.

The connection you feel, is a feeling that you can’t explain with archaic words, and get a warm euphoria that you cant wait to be with him again. Its a smile he gives you when he sees you that reminds you that he is amazing and your so damn lucky he picked you!

Its a hug that never feels like a normal hug, its a hug that feels like heat and metal combining at melting temperatures, its a kiss that you never want to end, so tender and passionate yet continues when you break off to breathe in your lovers scent…

Because his magical smile is just that amazing.. All encompassing… The kind of man who gives without giving, but you receive so much! It’s like getting what you asked for, for Christmas and meeting an understanding that the love you feel is absolutely real and impenetrable…

It’s like drinking an extremely bad cup of coffee, cold and stale, too dark and thick but still tastes like the warmest and yummiest cup of hot chocolate with marshmallows you ever had. Because he made it for you and now it is laced with his essence, his energy, kind of energy, all felt in a moment, like that glance as you walked in. he didn’t even have to tell you the details; you felt it in his glance, his very presence.

Its the running of his fingertips over your skin, so powerful that not only the one being touched but the one touching feels the essence and meaning of the touch. It’s a massage that’s as wonderful to give as it is to receive. Its the brilliant moment when you walk in from the worst day of your life to find a romantic with YOU written in every inch of the setup, and you realizing that he really does understand you and knows you. “Gets you”. Its the I care for you so deeply that even if you ignored the hard work I did preparing this setup, I’d love you anyway because its you I care about not your reactions to my trying. It’s the epitome of selflessness you feel when you do things for him, only wanting in return his happiness and some sign that it exists.

Its the incredible smell of your lover that means more to you than anything else, its the way you shiver when he touches you on your back when he walks up behind you a split second before his hand even makes contact with yours, to surprise you, and you know instantly that its him…

Its the build up of a great conversation where both of you feel what the other is saying completely and instantly, naturally, where you hang on every word they say no matter how long or how boring it would be to other people including subjects you don’t give a damn about.. It’s the yearning to see learn and feel every moment in that persons life, every thing they’ve ever experienced, felt or had. its the seeing them in a video where you didn’t expect they’d be in the background and its all you can see, or want to see, over and over again, to glimpse a new piece of them you never saw. It’s like the gracious selection of facial expressions you memorize the first time you see them and cherish new ones like Christmas morning where the tree is full of presents but you only care about the effect not the presents…
Its a man you care so deeply for and respect so devotionally, so deeply that his happiness means everything.

It’s an unending ability to forgive and get past anything or anyone because you know in the end you will be in his arms and nothing could ruin your day unless he wasn’t in it. It’s the patience you acquire because of this amazing gift he gives to you and doesn’t even know he did.

It’s the man who’d hold your hand every chance he got, because the warmth of your hand in his, makes him feel secure, and he knows that this to you, shows you he loves your touch, and you. Its the moment where you can’t fall asleep without hearing his voice, Its the messages you get for no reason other than he missed YOU, its the message you left on her cell phone that he secretly saved for almost a year just so he can read it over and over.

It’s the moments where you do something amazingly brilliant and he notices when no one else does or cares, and makes a big deal of it in your honor, and even wants to brainstorm it with you. It’s the moment when the most beautiful scene on earth is rivaled by his presence and he becomes the scene and the scene the blank canvas where he paints the beauty onto it… It’s the ambition you get when you feel the security of love. Its the power to exceed even your own highest aspirations, its the kind of man who you give all the credit to for even your solely created work, because you realize it was his love that made you strong enough, passionate enough a person to persevere…


One thought on “my own understanding of love

  1. Pingback: Just Left of Center, We Celebrate You | A Friend to Yourself

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